Russell Brand on addiction

Touching back on a re-curring topic of this blog, addiction, the famous Russell Brand recently did an interview on Channel 4 where he explains addiction perfectly.

If you want to understand addiction at its core, but in simple terms, definitely watch this! 

Riches?

When I was little, I dreamt that my dad would take me somewhere far away and rich. With time, I realised this was far from going to happen. I realised that I had to make my own the riches. My dad could give me all the money in the world, but the rich land was never going to be enough. There was misery, competition, loneliness.

From our land we could see far away a small island. This island, this land, was filled with joy and happiness. There was no luxury, but people had something else. They had vibrant souls. And these souls, with their transmission of happiness and love made sure there was always enough. They shared everything with love and kindness, knowing that nature would provide for them what they needed.

From my rich land I looked at this place and dreamt of going there.
But the journey there was scary. The sea was vast and I would have to leave what I knew behind. I would have to leave to my security and my comfort. The tides could change and I could face difficulties on the way. If I was to return to the rich land I would have to start from the bottom again.

But one day, one day, I made the decision. I left my gifts, my riches and my luxury behind and I dived. I dived into the big blue ocean. I was filled with fear, but that soon passed. I was halfway there. I had already swam through the waves. I could see the other island. I lost the fear because I knew that on the other side, they had something no one else had. They had love - the greatest gift of happiness. And as I swam, I felt more alive than ever.

Fear and Control

One of my biggest fears is losing control. I am absolutely petrified of it.
Control means that I have a sense of security - that I am not alone. If my room is tidy, if I have eaten healthy meal and I have a routine, everything is under control. And control means stability.

Or does it?

I have given into my head. My manipulative mind.
I would rather live in a state of fear than to live out of control. At-least in fear there is a sense of security: I know what to avoid it to not be in it.

Wanting absolute control is something that every one of us experiences, otherwise we would not fear rejection, not being good enough, not looking good enough. And we kid ourselves with these irrational desires, believing that if we are the best, it will equate security. The ironic thing is we will never be the best (not in even to ourselves) while we live in fear.

But it comes a point in life, a point in life where fear is no longer enough. The anxiety that shadows every move of yours, because you are scared of failing, of being alone, reaches its time to leave.

We have another beautiful voice that streams through our body, mind and soul. A voice from the heart, which out of fear, out of irrational thinking, we choose not to listen to. We tell ourselves that our heart gets hurt. But it doesn't, our ego gets hurt.

But fear is security, and leaving that security is scary for anyone. Realising that we can be happy, that we do not have to live in this given state, is equally scary. We like comfort and change leads us to the unknown.

Each day that passes, life presents us with a new opportunity to grow into a sense of happiness. We have a new opportunity to listen to our heart, our loving and forgiving heart, and not our fear driven mind. Each beautiful new day we can choose to live in love, in peace and harmony. The choice is ours.
And on the day we make that choice, we will be liberated.

All it takes is making that first big jump!

The impact of bullying

A touching short-film, highlighting the long-term impact of bullying.

Definitely worth a watch!

Addiction and its behaviours

Drugs, whether we chose to turn a blind eye to them or not, are around us. Sometimes in more obvious places than others. It is evident that substance misuse among society is not going to magically vanish.

My previous posts have highlighted as to how drug misuse is complexly interlinked with self-esteem, or more appropriately - lack of. Accordingly, addiction is believed by some to derive from the inability to deal with painful feelings.

With these mishandling of painful feelings, arise a series of behaviours that have come closely associated with addicts. The behaviours are wide-reaching, but include:

• Obsessing over something (not necessarily a substance)
• Acting on self-will, and despite knowing their action will have negative consequences, will see it through
• Complusive 
• Lack of control over desire
• Denial
• If caught out, hide behaviour 
• Self-centred
• Lying 

These behaviours underpin the actions of an individual whose addictive personality is active. For instance, a heroin addict will obsess over the drug and will bend their morals, to an extent, to get some. In this process, they are self-will driven and hugely compulsive. This is shadowed by denial, lying and manipulation to those around them. 

If an addict is enrolled into a 6 month 12-step-program at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation, they will have both the time and space to looking into themselves. This is a terrifying action for people who have for years suppressed their feelings through the substance misuse, but is a step into dealing with their problem. Moreover, society can also help the actions and behaviours of addicts. Of course it is the individuals choice to consume, arguably, a disease driven choice. 

An article published by BBC, Decriminalise heroin and cocaine says Belfast drugs worker (2013), highlighted how there is a movement towards the legalisation of Class A drugs. By legalising drugs, the article signposts how the power of the black-market would be challenged, while also bringing people who suffer from addiction back into society.

Here comes both the pivotal role of rehabilitation centres and this article. The latter helps the former. By decriminalising drugs, then, society will be able to form a more natural relationship with addicts, as opposed to continuously undertaking a punishing approach. Through the use of rehabilitation centres, the problem of addiction will be able to be fully addressed, which will help the individual onto the rewarding path of recovery. This is crucial, given that according to National Institute on Drug Abuse in 2009 only 11.2% of people above the age of 12 who needed treatment for illicit use of drug and alcohol, received it. This is a shocking figure, given the prominence of the substance misuse within society. Therefore, if drugs were to be decriminalised, society would be taking the first step towards dealing with a serious problem that is present throughout society. 

Developing the skills of homeless

A London based-scheme has sought to reintegrate the homeless community into society by providing them with an opportunity to develop their skills. St Mungo’s Charity has a variety of outreach programs, one of them being the Recovery College. Launched in September 2012, the College now offers 50% more courses than when it begun and welcomes over 395 students who are homeless.

The college creates the opportunity for the homeless community to increase their knowledge and awareness, while allowing them to become experts in self-care and moulding the necessary skills. It thus offers essential courses that allow the students to develop self-esteem and confidence, while also providing them with the necessary skills to survive, such as surviving on a tight budget. For many of those sleeping rough this is the first opportunity into education and gaining self-esteem. For others it is a chance to acquire more life skills, such as literacy and musical, which could provide them with the way out of such a difficult life-style. With this approach, St. Mungo’s Charity has successfully begun to break down the barrier between ‘them’, the homeless, and ‘us’, society, creating the means from them to integrate within society again.

The promise made by the Mayor of London that by 2012 there would be no one sleeping rough in London fell through when in 2012 the amount of homeless people increased by at-least 40% since the previous year. In such a dire economic climate with homes and jobs being lost, the role of the charities has become paramount - such to the extent that homeless people now commonly depend on them for their survival. It is in this climate that we find St Mungo’s Charity and its schemes undertaking a pivotal role in helping people who are sleeping rough to improve the quality of their life.

For more information about the Recovery College, visit St Mungo’s Charity website.

A day in London

To celebrate valentines, my boyfriend and I treated ourselves to a day in London, ticking items off the bucket list! This post is going to be the more detailed account of our journey, pictures will ensue.

Our first destination of the day was the London Aquarium. As it was just before lunch time, we visited the waffle house just outside - a terrible choice. The waffles were overpriced and heated in the microwave. A waffle with chocolate topping cost £3.80! You can get one much better, with fruit, for 50p more or so in South Kensington! But, with the view of the Thames River just to your-side, the overpricing becomes more acceptable.

With a slightly more satisfied stomach, we ventured into the aquarium. Booking in advance avoided us from having to queue for around an hour to merely just 15 minutes! 2 hours were then spent wondering around, looking at all the beautiful (and ugly!) fish and having sharks swim above us. The aquarium may have been heaving with cute and screaming young children, but it did not take away the beauty it brought to light through the diversity of the sea-creatures. Like many of the London attractions, the cost of entrance is slightly steep (approximately £30-40 for two adult tickets), but it offers something so wonderful and so well maintained, that it is undoubtedly worth every penny.

After spending some time with the sea creatures, we moved towards our next destination: the Shard. With plenty of time until our slot we walked down the South Bank. Here we had the opportunity to gaze down the River Thames, from St. Paul's Cathedral (a place that still needs to be visited!) to Canary Wharf. As we strolled down the river, we found more places to visit in the future. From little cafes and shops just outside OXO Tower to the Clink Prison next to London Bridge. All of which just highlighted how more time needs to be spent here!

The walk ended at the Shard, where the nerves and excitement joined! The entrance was like reaching the airport terminal: coats off, cameras handed and body-scanner. Quickly followed by a photo and rush into the two-journey lift. By the time you realised you were in the lift, you had arrived at your destination. 69th floor in one of Europe's tallest buildings. The view was jaw-dropping, with the city lights contrasting with the dark sky. If you are not consumed by a fear of heights, you have the option to go further up to the 72nd floor. Unlike the first viewing gallery, here your face is brushed with the cold breeze from the partial windows.

The cost of the Shard was slightly sharp, £25 per advanced booking ticket, but the view was certainly worth it. Not only could see the whole of London, from each and ever angle and side, but you were also in a suave and romantic atmosphere. Each of the assistants were more polite than the other, the classical music welcomed a sense of harmony, and even if people shoved for a bit of the view, you were too taken by the whole momentum to react. Overall, visiting the Shard is a must.

The final destination of the day was Inamo St James. Doing some research online beforehand, this restaurant had grabbed our attention through its novel interactive ordering system - all done through a touch-pad on the table! The system displays your food and allows you to play some games, bringing something new to the dinning experience. You can even peek into the kitchen and check if the chefs are working hard. Thankfully this restaurant has not focused all its attention on the technological side, serving delicious food at an affordable price for Central London, ranging between £10-25 per person. Although not winning my vote of 'place to visit over and over again', I would definitely recommend giving it a try even if it is just to unleash that inner geek and play battleships against your date, while you await your meal.

Valentines

Given the date today I thought a post about love would be appropriate.

Valentines, for me, is a day to celebrate couples. And I believe they need to be celebrated. Couples are more than two intimately involved individuals; couples are two individuals on a path of growth together.

In a relationship it is when you are most vulnerable. You give your whole self to this other person and you welcome them into your life like you have done for no one else. It is scary and terrifying, but it is equally so beautiful. This one other person loves you for who you are. They do not look at you as Joe Doe from down the road, they look at you as Joe Doe the person who understands them.

But despite this beauty of a relationship, and of love, a relationship is a challenging road. It is one that if you are not prepared to look at yourself, understand your actions and forgive, you will go through a lot of bumps.

A relationship is not just about the honeymoon and the happy times - anyone can work through that. A relationship is about having experienced troubling times and coming out stronger and more grateful as a result.

And it is with this in mind that I believe couples ought to be celebrated. To be in a relationship, where you communicate and trust, that takes a lot. It takes courage, trust and honesty. A relationship will only work insofar as the individual is committed to advance themselves.

So to all the couples who have had difficult times and beautiful times, and to everyone else, I wish you a happy valentines!

Courage

Courage, I believe, is an undervalued attribute.

When you hear courage, what do you think? Do you consider yourself a courageous individual?

For me, courage is facing the fear. Courage is acting on what you believe to be right. Not because Joe and Bob say so, but because you know it in your heart that it is true. Courage is knowing that you have failed one-thousand and one times but you are still willing to try. Courage is knowing that you can be hurt but still giving it a go.

Beyond this, I believe that each and everyone of us is a courageous individual and we should recognise that. Each and everyone of us as a baggage. We may smile, but behind that smile is an insecurity - either it being of rejection, not being good enough - you name it. You may not want to acknowledge it, but it is there. We have all lived and life is not perfect - but it is beautiful. 

And with this baggage on your back, you still have the courage to live each day as it comes. You still go to work, go to university - you still carry on with life. You know that it may hurt you, that things may go wrong. But you carry on. As simple as the act may sound, I think that it is admirable. Each and everyone one of us carries on with life, trying to find our coping mechanism. Each and everyone one of us faces our fears (whether by force of life, or because of our decision) and we carry on with life. 

Sometimes we need to give ourselves more credit than we do. We all have our baggage and we all try our best. None of us know what life holds for us, but we still get out of bed every morning and face reality. We, then, are all courageous. 

Ljubljana - Reaching the Hostel

After Lesce-Bled and visiting one of the most beautiful places we had ever seen, my boyfriend and I travelled further down south and into the capital of Slovenia, where we encountered our first challenge of our journey! This post, then, is a little taster of the small inconvenience that you can encounter when travelling.

The train journey was spent relaxing and looking out of the window. It was always a bit hard because both of us wanted to sleep, but of course one had to stay awake to make sure we did not miss our stop. Arriving in Ljubljana we were left with the 'road path' question: two exists, but no idea which one was the right one. The station was not habitat by staff like in the U.K, instead you had underground cafes full of locals and their cigarettes. After debating which side to exist from, we obviously chose the wrong one. After asking around and waiting around for the right bus for an hour, I finally gave into my boyfriend and we walked in 'right' direction. The bag weighed, the sun was burning and we were tired. We walked and walked for what felt like eternity until we finally reached the bus station, hurray!

This was challenge number one achieved. Finding the bus station did not mean finding the bus, like we had so eagerly hoped. After walking up and down the station for 15 minutes, our bus arrived. We ran and jumped on; but as quickly we got on, we got out. The bus did not accept cash, you had to pay with pre-paid cards. Being kicked off at the next stop and moods that little bit more fouler, we found the payment machine for the bus-cards. The topping of the icing at this point was my intelligence. Happily inserting 10 Euros of my 60 Euros budget into the machine, hoping I would receive change, the machine took all my money! Budgeting challenge number one! In hindsight this is not the most frustrating thing in the world, but when you are tired, sweaty with a bag heavier than you, it does not make you smile.

But as with all in life, the journey carried on and we successfully got onto the bus! There was a huge sense of relieve! We knew we had 10 stops from the station to our destination, and we concentrated hard counting all the stops. Reaching number 10, we smile and got off the bus into a residential area. We asked the bus-driver if he could direct us in the right direction, but to our luck of that afternoon we he did not recognise the area indicated on our directions! Challenge number three. We were in the suburbs of the the city with no one, not the bus-driver, nor the kind man walking past, having any idea where our hostel was. It had been by now nearly two hours since we had arrived in Ljubljana and we were not any closer to the hostel. We walked and walked and asked anyone we could for directions. Another 30 minutes went past walking in the hot sun until we finally encountered our beloved hostel.

Our welcome to Ljubljana was a bit frustrating, but our stay there was one of the most beautiful.

What this afternoon taught myself, and I think my boyfriend too, was that no matter how much we planned, things could go wrong. It was down to us how we dealt with it.

Another post will follow on the actual good stuff about the place!

The New Normal

Media is such a powerful tool that we sometimes underestimate or forget about. What we watch on TV sets some our societal norms and makes things seem more or less favourable.

Something which I recently found interesting is a new American show aired on Channel Four, The New Normal. Simply put the show is about a homosexual couple who want to have a child and have to find a surrogate. Quickly finding the ideal candidate, they welcome the surrogate into the family and her nine-year old daughter. One of the interesting twists within the series is the surrogate grandmother who is a right-wing racist and homophobic, whose opinions can be found challenging and rude. Through the approach of having a sweet and innocent surrogate whose characteristics are strongly contrasted with the grandmother's, the show successfully brings to light several issues that gay couples face in their daily life and how homosexuality is by far an accepted aspect of life.

I do not believe that 10 years ago this show would have been aired nor would it would be successful enough to reach the United Kingdom. Although it was rejected to be broadcasted by KSL-TV (associated with NBC) it still won the People's Choice Award for best new TV comedy. What does this say about the public?

KSL-TV rejected the show because it was not suitable to be aired on prime family television time, highlighting how some parts of society still struggle to accept homosexuality. I am not one to make a judgement against homosexuality, personally I believe that each individual knows what they like and what feels right for them. However, I have never really had an opinion about gay parents adopting a child. Although this show is not unique in bringing to light some of the issues gay parents face when adopting, with Desperate Housewives among others having touched on the issue, it does fruitfully demonstrate contrasting opinions. 

One of the strongest arguments against homosexual couples adopting a child is that the child will not have the appropriate role models: a father and mother figure, which may cause confusion for them. But in a society with increasingly more single-parents the argument is thinning. Moreover, in many cases having a mother and father does not necessarily lead to a structured individual. Each generation is becoming more and more insecure and distant from their parents, so what is the problem with same-sex parents? 

The role of this show has been pivotal in my understanding of gay parents adopting a child. Not personally knowing many gay couples, the issue of them being able to adopt children has been distant. However, having started to watch this new TV comedy I have begun to formulate an opinion on the issue and understand it more. I experienced first-hand the role of media in formulating opinions. 

Insanity

Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome.

We all have habits and patterns that although we know have negative outcomes, we do it over and over again. Getting absolutely wrecked, leaving work to the last minute, eating that slice of cake, sleeping with someone.. And we know that when we do these actions we feel worse than before. We are not going to feel happier than before because we got absolutely wasted, because we stuffed our faces in food or because we spent all our money on material goods. But what stops us from changing? I mean, surely if we know that we are doing is going to produce a negative outcome we would change. But we don't. We refuse to change. Then, according to Einstein's definition, we are insane.

We refuse to let go. We would rather do the same thing over and over again having the same negative outcome then changing and welcoming something wonderfully new. Sometimes all it takes is a small baby-step to change this insane part of us. Once we know what our quick-fix is, we can ask ourselves about it: is it healthy? Does it make me feel happy? And, if not, we can change that. So, is your quick-fix healthy? Or is it time to change?

Have a beautiful day!