To expect or not?

I expected...

I think any of our arguments, with anyone, at one point will include the phrase "I expected": I expected you to be different, I expected you to be there, I expected..... the list could go on forever and ever. We live our life's in this constant state of expectation; that tomorrow will be a good day because the sun will shine, that next year will be good because you will have your dream job or that next week things will be sorted because you're going out with your friends. Whatever it is that rocks your boat, we constantly wait for it to be happy.  More than this, we foolish believe that people are mind-readers and know what we expect. I mean, how very dare someone not do things the way we expect them to? After all, we are the shining sun. Oh wait. 

We are educated and brought up in a society that indoctrinates us into believing that happiness comes as a result of having the latest technology, wearing the best brands and having the life that appears to be perfect. We are brought up to chase happiness. What if it is all a waste of time and happiness is really just around the corner? What if we, instead of spending the time of day complaining about whatever it is, stopped and actually appreciated what is around us? What if we simply realised that no one will ever meet your expectations, because they are yours? Then life would be simple, and who wants simplicity? 

If we, for one second, stopped expecting and actually started to live the moment we would be liberated. We would be liberated from the four walls we create around ourselves, the prison cells we lock ourselves in. After-all, if you don't expect, there isn't any room for disappointment. And no, I don't mean to stop caring. We should always care, but we should care to be grateful, to recognise what we have and to learn that if we expect anything from anyone, it can only be of ourselves. 

The end before a beginning

I can’t quite place into words the way I feel, perhaps over-whelmed covers it the best. A year ago, I found myself asking what the hell was I doing with my life; everything was comfortable and easy-going. I was cosy. Yet, something in me – which, I didn’t quite understand – drew me to Brazil. A month after denial, I found myself in this country which I now consider home.

I remember so clearly at first feeling out of depth, in the middle of the ocean with the paradisiac island appearing thousands of miles away. Then, I started to fall into the Sao Paulo’s speed and what was once strange became normality. As the differences became normal and the strangers became family, I find myself in the same place I was a year ago: feeling out of my depth. After-all, I’m leaving my safe-haven for a new reality.

When you embrace a new opportunity, the beginning is always going to be scary and petrifying: it is, after-all, the unknown, and nothing generates greater fear than the unknown. Then, without realising it, you become used to it and before you know it, you find yourself closing yet another cycle in your life. You feel, again, scared because you don’t know what awaits you on the other side. You get used to this reality and you don’t want to leave it anymore. It’s the best thing you have going.

Then the beautiful thing of courage comes along. You remember you had a purpose, a mission and that with everything in life, what has a beginning has an end. It is life's rhythm and it’s a blessing that you can take part in this transition.

As I sit here emotively listening to Nelly Furtado ‘Why do All Good Things Come to And End’, a smile slowly starts to emerge on my face. I remember that I was once scared to start this and it turned out well, so I guess it is always going to go well? Hakuna Matata!

After-all, we all deserve to be happy. Independently of. So, here is to life: its transitions and its opportunities to experience the unimaginable.