Growing Up Poor

BBC recently aired a two-part series on poverty in the U.K bringing to light how poverty is not that distant reality we assume it to be.

Here is a short clip:

The documentary highlights the vast amount of youth in the U.K who live on £10 a day or less. Can you imagine it? Think about how much it costs you to go to your local supermarket and buy a pint of milk, some cereals and bread. Just that costs about £5. Now, when that £10 has to pay for bills, clothes and other basic necessities, the money is simply not enough.

I used to think that anyone who wanted a job could get one, and still do to an extent. But sometimes we take where we live for granted. If you are from an industrial area, you will be more than aware that a factory is probably the only place you can get a job. But as this short-clip gives an insight into, and how the documentary expands on, getting a job is not necessarily as easy as A B C. You need to believe in yourself that you can get the job. And you need motivation. To acquire motivation we need self-belief, and how is it possible to have that when our schools nor our parents had faith in us? Where are we going to find the self-belief? Parenting at this point is absolutely crucial, because if the parents believe in their children, their children feel unbeatable.

What I think this documentary brings to light is two main things: first, poverty exists around the corner; second, getting a job is not as easy as snapping your fingers. The second episode, which focuses on Poor Lads, shares the story of a young boy who wants out of the street life. He had the courage. All that people need to do is have the courage. All easier said than done, of course.

So, it is worth remembering, then, that poverty is not a far away horror. It is sometimes around the corner.

Inspiration

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Motivational videos always seem to get me on a hype and view the world more positively. They put life into perspective and show how no journey is pain free. This short video is inspirational. 

Don't be boring, be yourself. 

Dream Destination

Travelling is one of my favourite things in this life. As I have mentioned in a previous post, it gives you the opportunity to experience completely new cultures and lifestyles. It is, in my opinion, one of the best ways to educate ourselves. But of course you can equally travel just for pleasure. Travelling is also that gateway from reality. A week of no worries (as long as you don't go over your budget!), no stress and pure delicious food and drinks.

From my experience of travelling, which is not that extensive, the best places to visit are those that are not on the radar. Touristic destinations, such as the Algarve in Portugal, are hampered by shops and restaurants to suit what the tourists commonly want: 'I love Portugal' teeshirts, postcards, English/Germany restaurants etc. They do not offer a real insight into the actual country and its culture, but that's ok if you all are after is a week of relaxation.

If, however, you want to experience something completely new then you have to look beyond the radar. It may require you to go out of your comfort zone, but like always, the more you work for it, the more rewarding. So, where would your destination be?

Mine would be Iceland - a little undiscovered beauty. With the northern lights providing you with an out-of-this-world sensation, which are then bathed by jumping in the Blue Lagoon. Its alternative paradise, one that I am definitely up for! 

Northern Lights

Blue Lagoon

Determination

"Before a man reaches the top of a mountain, he must first learn how to climb it" 

As humans we often just want to reach our goal. We forget about the journey at hand and want to be at the destination. But what is often more rewarding is the journey itself. It is there we cry, laugh, despair and hope. It is there that our inner-strength is challenged and has the opportunity to grow stronger each day.

In our daily lives we complain how are not at X: we are not at the top of class, how we want to have another job, how we want more money, friends and happiness. You name it. But how much effort do we actually put in to achieve our goal? How much do we allow ourselves to learn to reach our dream? We don't. We get sidetracked and blame life. 

We talk the talk, but we do not walk the walk. If you, and if I, want to be at the top of 'our' mountain, we must first learn to dominate it: know how to climb it, understand that we may fall and hurt ourselves. But that is okay, because in that journey we will grow stronger. And that destination will not just be beautiful for the sights it gives, it will be beautiful because it will represent a path of dedication and determination.

So, next time you complain things are not perfect. Ask yourself why not, ask yourself if you are on the right path; and know that everything is worth it for that mountain top.

Lake Bled

Lake Bled is a hidden beauty in the fascinating country, Slovenia. When James and I were doing our research for interrail if there was one thing we agreed 100 percent on was visiting Lake Bled. 

We travelled from Salzburg to Lesce-Bled, the village/town near the hidden treasure. Leaving Austria and entering Slovenia, we had our first insight into the varying economics of Central and Eastern Europe. The former constituted of dream houses: warm, large and with the most outstanding views. Slovenia, provided a strikingly different view. Although beautiful, its economic differences to its neighbouring country were illustrated through the weathered looking house and cars that we travelled past. Regardless of this, the train journey was still filled with excitement and happiness. 

The train left us in the isolated village of Lesce-Bled. We had no idea how to get to the actual lakes, and all we could see was an empty cafe. After wandering about for a while, we stumbled upon the tourist information, where we directed to the bus stop. It was a hot morning and we were both growing impatient with excitement to visit the lake! Waiting 15 - 20 minutes for a bus, it finally arrived. We took a seat and buzzed with excitement... 

But the bus didn't leave us at the lake! The suspense was dragged on! We were left at a top of the hill, where we were informed we that we had to travel down the road to reach the haven we sought. As we stumbled down the hill, our bag packs weighed us down and the heat made us all that bit more irritable. But when we finally arrived at the Lakes, our heart and soul was filled with happiness. We encountered our hidden treasure.  

Just looking back at this photo and I still feel overwhlemed.

Once we arrived at the Lake, we excitingly took a rowing boat tour around the lake, day-dreamed around the island and made our way to a lovely lunch, with the view of the lake! After a lovely day at Bled, we made our way to the capital of Slovenia...

Below are some pictures of the day, enjoy :) 

View of the Church in the island

James and I enjoying the tour!

Bye-bye Bled!

All pictures were taken by me, unless I'm in them. 

Letting Go

I've only just briefly touched upon forgiveness, but to forgive you have to let go. You have to let go of that hurt that caused you to feel those negative feelings, and that's so terrifying .

In our day to day we so much prefer to sit at our laptops and tell those around us how angered we feel by everything. Heck, I certainly do it. This person didn't agree with my perspective, this other made a comment about the way I deal with situations, someone else didn't reply aptly enough in my eyes. The list goes on. The funny thing is at the end of the day I am the miserable one. Not them. I am the one carrying the baggage of resentment and hating that person. They are in their own world. And in-spite of fully know this I would still rather hate on them then forgive myself for the feelings I have felt and let go.

Their is the age old wisdom that the greatest power is forgiveness, and I couldn't agree more. The moment we forgive ourselves, we understand ourselves and learn to love ourselves for who we are, it seems to pass.

Let Go, Let God.

Have a beautiful day.

Forgiveness

Forgiving yourself is pretty challenging, after-all, it''s far easier to blame everyone else: he teased me, she pushed in-front of me, they disrespected me.. The list goes on. Instead of asking ourselves Why did that bother me so much?, we deviate our feelings and get angry about whatever it is. 

Remember that time you were waiting to buy that new pair of jeans? And that sneaky woman pushed in front of you. How dare she! How dare she push infront of you! Does this woman not know about how busy your life is? Does she not have manners and respect? Oh the utter disrespect of some people. After you pay for your jeans you walk out the shop and bump into a long-lost friend. The one who used to make you laugh like no one else, but they moved way to America. You two getting chatting and your day goes on. Later you realise that had that women not pushed in-front of you, you would have completely missed her. You feel angry at yourself for not seeing the bigger picture, so to speak. 

Then comes the hardest part. How do we forgive ourselves? You remember that time you were playing in the park, you were 5. There was this big slide there. It had monkey bars, rails, hidding spots and rock climbing. It was your favourite. But everytime you went to go, the big kids would stop you. You could never get past them. After this happening over and over again, you made yourself a promise. You promised yourself that people would always have to treat you with respect. You realised that the reason you were so annonyed about that women pushing in-front was because it made you feel disrespected - something you hadn't dealt with. Now came the hard part, allowing yourself to feel the hurt from the times you were disrespected... 

Salzburg - the city of salt

When you do Inter-Rail you can have two approaches: be a total control freak or play along as it goes. If you know me, you will know I will fit into the former. Before we left, my boyfriend and I made sure to have all the hostels booked and to know all the trains we had to get and alternatives. I wasn't prepared to be stranded in the middle of Montenegro.

We flew out of London Luton in the early hours arriving in Budapest. The excitement was surreal. The holiday for us only began when we first reached our first destination: Salzburg. The train there was outstanding! As you looked out the windows, you were surrounded by the most comforting green hills composed of cute little Austrian houses. Little did we know that this was going to be the best train of the lot, with a bar, clean toilets, air conditioning and all the things in the U.K. we take for granted. As we travelled from Budapest to Salzburg, we got a sneak peak into Veinna - a destination for the future.  The sun started to set as we got nearer our destination. It was beautiful.

Our firs sights when we first stepped out of the train

Okay, in hindsight it isn't the most memorable picture out there, but at that moment in time, it was perfect. The air, in spite of it of being 8 in the evening, was still keeping us warm. The mountains were a striking difference to the landscape I am used to. They had such a wonderful relationship with the clouds. My boyfriend was more eager to get to the hostel, so we made our way. Staring into each and every little shop we walked past, through an underground and a construction site, we found our first hostel: Yoho!  There was a sense of excitement and relief: we had made it, but were still anxious to know how our first encounter in a shared dorm would be. We walked up the stairs and made our way to our little hostel room. Well, it wasn't so little. We were sharing with 8 others. One of the things that took me by surprise was this unspoken rule by the travellers: at 12am you respect its time to sleep. Or maybe that was just the luck we had everywhere. We tucked into bed and dreamt away...

Up early as birds the next morning we made our way to a little cafe. Ahh European breakfasts - pastries and croissants. Delicious. The sun was shining and bringing everything to life. I was slowly falling in love with Austria. We wandered around and found ourselves in the Mozart gardens. They were absolutely astonishing! The trees and bushes were vivid green, contrasting with the sharp red, orange and yellow tones of the flowers. Your eyes didn't know where to look: at the astonishing gardens, the interesting statues, the buildings? Or the castle that hid behind you? Of course, being summer and Austria, the place was packed with tourists - but that morning, it wasn't going to get in the way.

The rest of that day was spent strolling around the bustling streets of Salzburg:  from its remarkable castle with some of the most beautiful views, to its bustling streets.

View from the Castle in Salzburg. Taken by me.

Freedom

What takes me most about travelling is the unknown. The moment you board that plane, hop on that ferry or jump in that car, you don't know what to expect. You are taken by the excitement of all the possibilities, the beautiful sights, the interesting people, the educative history, the delicious food. It goes on and on.

Sometimes we have to go a bit out of our comfort zone to really see what is waiting on the other side.

This past summer I was privileged to do Inter-Rail in ex-Yugoslavia: Austria, Slovenia, Crotia, Bosnia and Hergovnia, Serbia and Hungary. Loving to watch crime-films and be a bit of a drama queen, I was a bit on the nervous side. But the moment you get on that plane and the adventure starts, you have to let go. You have to welcome all those wonderful opportunities that await you and allow yourself to grow.

I'm sure I'll write more in-depth about my 21 day adventure followed by some pictures. This is just a little taster (and a bit lighter to the other posts!)

Recovery

The road to recovery is one of the most scary roads to walk down - but equally most rewarding. Undoubtedly the hardest thing is to admit you have a problem. We all repeat the mantra I can stop when I want to. But can you? Can you give up T.V., your sense of entertainment? Your social networks, your sense of belonging? It is a lot easier said than done. If you don't believe me, why not try and give up something that makes you feel good.

With drugs and alcohol (or shopping, sex, gambling...) you feel good. When you participate in these things, your feelings are numbed. That pain vanishes. It's heaven. Or when you snort that coke, that sensation. You are at the top world. Everything is crystal clear. You are unbeatable.

But then..
it's a downfall

Reality. You feel mentally, physically and psychologically worse. Your problems are there, but now trapped with them with this sense of utter disgust, shame and guilt. You truly are just as bad as those looks that people give you. But this sense is quickly forgotten, you've already got that extra 40 quid in your hands and find yourself down the street of your dealer.  You don't have a problem, you just enjoy getting high. You can stop whenever you want.

But then...
comes that day. You find yourself walking down the streets at 5 o'clock. The sun is setting and everyone is wondering off into their homes. You stop by a house and take a look. Inside you see a cute three year old girl playing with her barbie. On the couch are her parents, cuddled with a blanket watching a film. Its that home you never had. You remember your mum who you stopped talking to four years ago. You carry on walking, your shadow disappears and all you see is gloom. The girl walking opposite you crosses to the other side. It starts to spit with rain, but you find your house. You push through the door. It's pitch black and there is a stale smell. You look around for some food, but all you can is the foil and some syringes. It hits you. You fall to the floor and shake nervously. Halve of your friends are dead after overdose, the other are in prison or missing. You have nothing. You have never been so alone. You have a problem.

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

I take my hat to anyone who can do that, because most of us can't.

Addiction

I'm sure you have heard addicts being referred as lazy, low-lives, worthless beings. Although they may be lazy, they are not worthless beings. What society often fails to take into account is how addiction is a disease. This claim is often dismissed by the argument of "how does a disease make someone snort some coke? Inject some heroin?" To understand this we need to look deeper into the situation. 

Picture this: you have just got back from a long day at work. Your boss had the critical undertone again - the reports you had spent all of last evening doing had some mathematical errors. There was a sense of tension within the team, a promotion was coming through and you really needed the extra money. You and your partner had been facing some difficulties, each day you were becoming more frustrated. You felt like crap. As you were changing from your work clothes you took a peak at the mirror. The disgust. You had put on 2 stones in the last month. You make your way to the kitchen but the dinner you make burns. There was nothing else in the fridge. You turn around and on the opposite counter is your beloved Porto. You grab a glass, that glass of wine turns to the bottle. That bottle of wine and Come Dine With Me become your company for the night. You fall asleep on the couch, knowing that tomorrow is just going to be another day like today.

Now imagine this, as you were growing up you saw your father hit your mother every day. You barely had any food, and what there was to eat you had to give your younger sibling.  Your mum couldn't find a job and your dad was too busy drinking away what material goods you had left. School was your escape. But as you walk into the school everyone stares at you. You looked rough from last night - you couldn't get any sleep last night as you hid under the bed, hearing your father shout at your mum you are a whore! The children judged your tired look and uniform full of holes. You make it through the first part of the day but then comes lunch time. You are starving. All you had for dinner was some stale bread. Everywhere you look you see shiny lunch-boxes full of delicious food. Oh that ham and cheese sandwich. You put your hands in your pockets and find an old chocolate bar. That will have to do. The bell rings and everyone happily moves onto class. You walk slowly and discretely behind. None of these people are your friends. You put your foot into the classroom and the teacher is already staring and judging you. You go to the back - no one wants to sit near you. You forgot the homework and your teacher doesn't let it go. You make one of those excuses, The Dog Ate It!, but in truth you did want to do it - but your young sister had spent the whole evening crying and you had been trying to help her. The class finally finishes and the teacher wants to have a word, Dom, Is everything ok at home? What are you meant to say? No? So that your father can hit you with the belts again? The words are trapped in your mouth but they slowly come out, Yes, Miss. Everything is great! On your walk back home you see all the other kids get in their posh cars with their happy looking families. You turn the corner, you see your father at the pub. You run home before he gets there - it is the only time you have to help your mother and your younger sister.

Now, ask yourself, wouldn't you need a couple glasses of wine after that?

The stories shared here can be deemed as extreme and over-the-top, but sometimes a lot more happens behind closed doors than surfaces. It is important to remember that everyone is carrying their own baggage. Unfortunately some people only know how to cope with this baggage through the excessive use of drugs and alcohol, as it numbs their pain. Why in two brothers who experienced the same upbringing, and only one develops the disease, is to do with the brain. The difference between the brothers is that one of them their brains does not know when to stop.

So, next time you see someone in the street asking for money for drugs or drinking away their lives, ask yourself, 'what made this person chose this life?'